The Ex Dilemma

It really does suck when our happiness comes at the expense of anothers but these things are often out of our hands. The average person of my age group has had at least a couple of relationships and probably been on many a date. So one must face up to the fact that your amazing boy/girl friend probably comes with a string of exes -some of whom were/ are pretty damn awesome. I've never had an issue "with the ex" before Nicholas so this has been quite an interesting experience.

The best thing that one can do is to treasure what they have when it is theirs to be had. No point crying over spilt milk, says pragmatic me but the quixotic within sympathises at anyone's love lost. That said, some previous partners can be a bit of a blister, and I have been sufficiently irked so as to not feel solicitous or sentimental, but to merely be peeved. 

Magnanimous as one can only dream of being, I could never give up what I have now, and is rightfully mine, to make a third person -I don't really know- happy. What can I say? Loving someone intimately is perhaps the most selfish thing anyone will ever do. We do it strictly for our own pleasure... mainly. Superfluous as it seems to state this point, not everyone wins. In the real world not all the participants get a medal, you've actually got to win it.  It may be best to bow out with grace; whilst ones dignity remains intact.

Emotional blackmail and evident unwillingness to let go, not limited to unchristian entreaties and attempts to end our relationship, only serve to make aforementioned ex girlfriend appear clingy and lacking in poise, rather than wronged.

What baffles me is, how in the world she could believe that we  could accede to her demands when she is of no real consequence in our lives? Never been in mine, no longer in his. The way I see it, you had your chance, things didn't work out, tant pis pour toi...  Now, with some rectitude of judgment, exit the stage for pity's sake. Props for doing it with sang-froid and class. 

Admittedly, the definitionally grey area between a current-kinda/sorta-friendship and former relationship (plus the mind-fuckery that comes with all that jazz) mucks things up. Maturely and unequivocally reviewing your status together, as we did beforehand rather than retrospectively reacting when there isn't a concordance of views may be the better option. 

After all, the reality is that two beautiful and great people could just happen to bring out the ugly in one another. It would be to look for a better fit instead of trying to cram a square peg into a round hole. Until then, I wish we could be left to our own lives unless a cordial or, at the very least, constructive relationship was sought by the other party with either/both of us.