Maybe if I were not online, I would not check. Breaking a habit is always difficult but then there need not be the confrontations of old when I'm back. It is not meant to hurt him, but how do you explain not being able to forget some things, even if that is what we want most. Not meaning losing all memory of time and experience, but forgetting the abject funk that happens after. This year, there are ten thousand other things -hopefully- crowding my mind out.
I will not look over the edge, vertigo will not grip me by the gut and shake my calm. For the next 24 hours, it will not get to me. After it has passed, things will be back to... can things ever really be normal? Three years on, this is still not the time or place, essays, research and studying shall fill that chasm. What did the plan say? We never know when stories end before they should. One can only hazard a guess.
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