Who will read those words?

Writing on a deceased persons facebook wall. It's more for the living than the departed and I understand that for some, it could be cathartic. On a friends birthday you would wish them, a sign of sorts that you remembered a day out of three hundred and sixty five that is significant to them. When the friend is no longer around, it is not that you forget that day or it is any less special, but wishing them does seem a little pointless. Since 2009, I have not been able to do it and am not likely to start any time soon. It just does not do anything, for me, for him or for our mutual/exclusive loved ones.
I remember the judgments. Clear as day. In our vociferous world, silence is presumably significant. An acquaintance asking me if I didn't care, a friend asking if I cared so much I was terrified to put things down in words. How do I answer those questions? It used to be -and still is- an empty smile because honestly, how does one respond without appearing overtly detached or excessively fixated on events that cannot be undone. I don't not care but I have moved on. That is not wrong by any measure. Living in the past does not help you, we don't need more lost souls drifting along life's ebbs and waves. All the same, a little thought ripple sent out with a happy birthday tag attached would not hurt.