whoah, you know you are being over-angsty when you can split a whiny entry into two full posts
Emo-blogging is just gross, reminds me of whinging (pre)teens who think that life sucks because they don't have the right shoes... that, or poor-me types who really need a good shaking.
That said, i really want to be a gross, whinging, pre teen with uncool shoes, okay?
Friends
Some of my friends have left hall for good. People I have made memories with etc. Oh well, I've written an entire post on it. Thinking of next year isn't that much better. I will be losing a whole bunch of friends. Xiao Xuen and Jing Wen will be on exchange (for a year *sob*), Val -roomie of three years- is taking a sem off, Shazzy and Mei Chee will be graduating, s000 many of the guys upstairs are leaving. The only thing to look forward to is the Andiappan is coming back. Woot!
The greatest pain
Richard's cancer is back :((((((((((
Sometimes I ask if there is a God.
The combined mix of just feeling bleargh with this piece of upsetting news just got me in the dumps. Yesterday I read Alex message and felt like crap. Today, I reread it and had to hustle myself to the washroom for a good bawl. Belive me, there is nothing therapeutic over sitting in a cubicle in the middle of a random lab block in Engineering, blubbering your eyeballs out, knowing that no one enters the toilets in that faraway block besides the cleaning aunty. At that opportunate moment, I got a wake up call message, should start moving on (my interpretation of the matter).
Richard! You will be in my prayers (to the God that is soooooo testing us all, philo classes don't help matters,faaarking atheistic existentialists). Alex, stay strong!!!
Life is bloody unfair.
All issues in the following post are super trivial... things that shouldn't matter to me, but this was really the tipping point, the densest cumulonimbus that has shifted it's greyness on everything. I wish I could see Richard now and Alex too... last week was too good to be true, I had to know that there needed to be some kind of balance, very Newtonian thought, the third law is truer than you think!
Mount Laundry.
This mountain grows exponentially. Twin peaks, Laundry-to-be-done and Washed-laundry-for-folding. Currenly the latter is higher. Will I ever conquer these peaks?
Icky Blinds
I told you... everything just feels sucky. Even my dusty blinds seem like the worse thing on earth.
Readings and Homework and Programming
Too much to catch up on. This week feels like reading week, not like a mid-sem break.
I miss
-my parents
-arguing with my siblings
-playing with my dogs
and just home, home, home.
I want to go home but can't. Bloody work.
Hmmm.... wondering if this is all an exercise in the waste of time. At this moment, I should be researching the Kierkegaardian themes in the Passion of Joan of Arc but would prefer to procrastinate and write a second, lengthier, confirmed-chop-plus-one more childish entry (below).
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