Reflection is a double edged sword, at times...
The pro would obviously be rationalizing a situation and dealing with it in the most commonsensical manner.
The con would be that we never really acknowledge raw emotion. How we truly feel at that moment is shoved on a convenient backseat.
I have many a time been accused (quite rightly) of following my head and not my heart. What initially seemed like a compliment, on hindsight meant that personal feelings on a matter were given very little importance. Not all bad, but not exactly good.
The need to contemplate things and sort them out sagaciously before making a decision is a cover for my sinusoidal temperament. I can have fabulously rainbow hued days (where anything from cut grass to sunshine are inexplicably delightful) but there are those funky grey days (where you just curl up under your duvet and the selfsame sunshine is a garish display that threatens to stab your pupils, dead centre).
The grey days though are usually under control. Just freaking fill the day with so much activity that you can't think about the monochromaticity of life. In that aspect, engineering school is good, no time
no time no time, assignments assignments assignments, lab lab lab, tests tests tests.However, this week was our mid-sem break -read, too much time on hands- , so the culmination of too many things had me in the dumps:
The news about Richard's recurrence, Lynn's lymphoma, DP's drama, home sickness, the ginormous pile of assignments...
I cowered under my green, circus-parade patterned comforter for most of the week, only resurrecting myself to complete a lab report due during the week, for dance practices, for meals, for the occasional group meetings (the main reason why I couldn't go home in the first place) and for a debate outing that I had promised promised promised myself that I would attend, to see Lari.
Now, we are at the end of the week. The mountain of assignments has not been dented greatly and a niggling little voice is telling me that I could have achieved so much more this week, but I am finally at peace with myself.
I have survived a colourless patch, even with few distractions on hand. Having lovely friends around helped a great deal (though I hope my yucky moods didn't show up). Magpie!!! A shout out to you, hope you didn't have to feel my black mood. You were truly a lovely streak of pastel in the rain. A roomie does help too. We don't need to talk but the presence of another person is good, verray gooood. Floormates who jio you for runs are also awesome (thanks KangWei, Aud, Shazzy and MeiCheeBye). Cute freshmen who give your free ice-cream coupons (Debbie the squeezable!) are also pawsome... they remind you that giving, randomly especially, can brighten anothers day. Dre-dre thanks for the buh-berrrrr teeeeeee, you have no idea how these small gestures can mean a lot on a bleak day. Lup the ginger who had a bad week but still offered to have a Slumming Saturday.
Dealing with emotions has prolly matured me a little more in that department, non? Actually, acknowledging emotions would be closer to the truth, well... it is a good start haha. Maybe, I might give the heart a trifle more importance and be less dismissive of feelings (wow... managed to type it as that, feelings, instead of "feelings" or feelings... I'm growing up! heehee)
School is starting and the quiescence of my mind is wearing off, yay! (but have super a lot to catch up on raaawr!). Shall visit Lynn-Lynn-the-demented-bunny-senior today with as ginormous and colourful a bunch of gerberas as I can afford (Lainey is supplementing, so should be able to get something nice, yay)
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