Things to do before you get on another persons $2000 road bike:
1) Figure out where the brakes are
2) Work out how to change gears beforehand
I have not ridden a bike in ages and somehow managed to forget that RPM/spinning does not constitute bicycling. With terrible night vision, having never cycled a type of bike that requires one to tip forward so much at the hip and being only able to graze the ground with the tips of my toes, it was a harrowing ride.
That said, it was fun and the adrenaline rush and inducement of panic jolted me out of the numbed and oxymoronic apathetic-agitation (how would one describe it, being throughly agitated without really giving a shit about anything or being able to localize the source of the panic? There must be a more concise and elegant way of putting this but it escapes me right now). The emptiness of the bike path, the quiet whirring of the bicycle, the lake quiescent but nature whizzing by, and the wind whipping your hair into a tangled frenzy.
I would do it again. With a better fitted helmet. In the daytime -until marginally familiar with the paths. I would have stood and cycled, harder, faster, if there wasn't anyone else with me, maybe that is how things are, only alone can one be free. Maybe, hopefully, someday it will be possible to learn to express myself completely, freely, with at least one other person.
This has been a year of new experiences. Realizing when giving up was not actually a bad thing. Learning to move on. Trying things I have never done. Taking on more responsibilities, the myriad causes that mean so much to other groups. They might not be my personal fight, but if it will make the world more just, why should I not stand with them and speak out against bigotry and injustice? My goal for the year, three months in, is to live. To really live, to try as many things as I can. To read as widely but more deeply. To overreach and take risks I wouldn't normally attempt. To take ownership of my life and never pick the default road unless it is the best possible option.
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